A Website for Women

Womens Problems 6

Problem With Porn

Hi i hope you can help me with this problem, I feel that it is a really big issue! I have been in a relationship now for nearly a year and everything is great. However a couple of months ago I was looking on his computer and found a really large collection of porn. The good thing was that it hadn't been looked at for over a year and so this made me feel much better.

I have a real problem with porn because it makes me feel insecure and gets me to thinking that my boyfriend doesn't really find me attractive and that he needs this porn to fulfil his desires. I hadn't thought about it again until this week when I was looking through my boyfriend's phone (which he knew about) and found a collection of pictures of naked women in all kinds of poses - you can imagine what I mean!

I confronted him about it straight away and he told me that his friend had sent them to him and that's its only meant to be a joke. I have told him how it makes me feel and he has been sympathetic, but I still don't totally believe him. I think that if he needs porn, then I cant be fulfiling his sexual needs, and only a year into the relationship this doesn't look good! I do love him and believe that he loves me, but I cant help but think that he will cheat on me eventually.

I now feel like I need to watch his every move and that when he's on the computer or his phone that he will be looking at porn all the time! Why can he be happy with just me? Thank you Jacky xxx

Hi there Jacky, I feel that you are over reacting to this situation. Many people including women like to look at and watch porn, and it very rarely interferes with their relationships. Some couples even watch it together to enhance their sex lives. As for the porn on his computer you have proof that he hasn't looked at it for over a year, and the pictures on his phone could have come from anyone - especially if he has bluetooth! Also he could look like a wimp in front of his friends if he deleted the pictures off his phone, and tells them not to send them to him.

Porn can never compete with a real relationship, what you and your boyfriend have is obviously special, so don't throw it all away because of your insecurities. The only time you need to worry is if he doesn't want sex with you because he is too busy watching porn or something along those lines! Remember it is normal for people to want to look at images like this - its just human nature!

My Son Has AHAD

Recently I have been told that my four year old son may have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (AHAD). Our doctor has said that diet changes can help. How can I find out more? Dee

About 1 in 10 children with AHAD show improvement with dietary changes. It is defiantly worth trying. There are common strategies to help AHAD and these include avoiding preservative's and colouring's such as E-numbers 100 to 150 and 200 to 297, adding supplements such as vitamin B6, zinc, and essential fatty acids. More information can be found on this website:
http://www. hacsg.org.uk

Is My Girlfriend a Chocoholic?

My girlfriend is trying to loose weight but she is having great difficulty giving up chocolate. She eats one small bar a day and claims to addicted to it, is this possible? Tom

There are a number of chemicals in chocolate that act on the brain and this is why some people find it "addictive". The chemicals include the neurotransmitter serotonin, this chemical is known to boost mood and appetite. It also stimulates caffeine and theobromine, and substances that mimic the effects of cannabis. The darker the chocolate the stronger the effect on the brain. However you would have to eat more than one small bar a day to notice.

I am in love with a girl who has a boyfriend

Help I am so confused and really don't know what to do! I am female and have been in college now for over 2 years and have met someone who is a really great friend. But recently I have realised I have feelings for her - really deep feelings. I love this woman and really want her! However, she has had a boyfriend now for over 5 years.

She has told some of our mutual friends that she really like me and if she wasn't with her current boyfriend then she would give me and her a go. This is just making me worse and more confused and upset. We have our formal coming up soon and she has decided to come with me and not tell her boyfriend - what should I do? Please I need advice about how to handle any situations that arise that night! Tony

Firstly, because she has a boyfriend you really need to back off. You cant do anything while she's still in a relationship, because it would be wrong. If she makes a move on you at the formal it could just be to satisfy her curiosity and not because she really feels for you.

It is often very difficult when a person enters into a same sex relationship for the first time. This is because feelings can get confused. You don't want to end up being just her experimentation phase. If she is really interested then she will finish things with her boyfriend.

You need to have a serious conversation with her before the formal, and tell her that nothing will ever happen with you until she has finished things with her boyfriend. This way she cant end up using you, and hurting you. You also need to have a long hard think about what you want. Feelings like this towards a very good friend, could turn out to be confusing. it may also be the case that you are not totally gay but have grown so close to this person that you are confusing your feelings. I am not saying that you don't know what you are feeling, but just to really think about what you want before jumping in to any situations. Good luck with this situation I hope it all goes well.